Comments on: We’re Mostly Alike! (Even when we seem different.) http://intimacyworks.com/blog/2008/03/05/were-mostly-alike-even-when-we-seem-different/ Relating and loving skills for couples and individuals Sat, 19 May 2012 16:38:04 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6 By: Bob http://intimacyworks.com/blog/2008/03/05/were-mostly-alike-even-when-we-seem-different/#comment-44 Bob Tue, 18 Mar 2008 18:23:52 +0000 http://intimacyworks.com/blog/2008/03/05/were-mostly-alike-even-when-we-seem-different/#comment-44 Thanks for sharing that, <strong>Robyn</strong>. We rarely realize - especially when we are hurting - that it can hurt and feel rejecting when we don't reach out for help and support from our friends when we need it. (And it can be hard to ask.) Thanks for sharing that, Robyn. We rarely realize - especially when we are hurting - that it can hurt and feel rejecting when we don’t reach out for help and support from our friends when we need it. (And it can be hard to ask.)

]]> By: Robyn http://intimacyworks.com/blog/2008/03/05/were-mostly-alike-even-when-we-seem-different/#comment-40 Robyn Tue, 18 Mar 2008 00:10:02 +0000 http://intimacyworks.com/blog/2008/03/05/were-mostly-alike-even-when-we-seem-different/#comment-40 I completely resonate with how hard it can be to ask for help. It's a lesson I had my nose rubbed in when my beloved husband, David, died and then just a few months later I was diagnosed with non-Hodgkins lymphoma and had to have surgery then chemotherapy. What I got to understand is that, just as I'd be a little hurt to discover that a friend had been in trouble and hadn't reached out to me, so they would be hurt if I were in trouble and didn't reach out to them. Thought of that way, asking for help can be a gift. I completely resonate with how hard it can be to ask for help. It’s a lesson I had my nose rubbed in when my beloved husband, David, died and then just a few months later I was diagnosed with non-Hodgkins lymphoma and had to have surgery then chemotherapy.

What I got to understand is that, just as I’d be a little hurt to discover that a friend had been in trouble and hadn’t reached out to me, so they would be hurt if I were in trouble and didn’t reach out to them. Thought of that way, asking for help can be a gift.

]]> By: Bob http://intimacyworks.com/blog/2008/03/05/were-mostly-alike-even-when-we-seem-different/#comment-43 Bob Mon, 17 Mar 2008 23:19:04 +0000 http://intimacyworks.com/blog/2008/03/05/were-mostly-alike-even-when-we-seem-different/#comment-43 <strong>Hi Steve,</strong> I somehow feel we had the same teacher :>) When Priyatama and I have a difficult problem to deal with, we also physically sit side-by-side to "face" the problem - and it usually really helps. Thanks for reminding me about it. <strong>Hi Christina,</strong> Thanks for the book references. I hope you can let me know about the second one you mention. You have made me think that it might be nice to have a reading list on our website. Hi Steve,

I somehow feel we had the same teacher :>) When Priyatama and I have a difficult problem to deal with, we also physically sit side-by-side to “face” the problem - and it usually really helps. Thanks for reminding me about it.

Hi Christina,

Thanks for the book references. I hope you can let me know about the second one you mention. You have made me think that it might be nice to have a reading list on our website.

]]> By: Cristina http://intimacyworks.com/blog/2008/03/05/were-mostly-alike-even-when-we-seem-different/#comment-39 Cristina Mon, 17 Mar 2008 19:38:51 +0000 http://intimacyworks.com/blog/2008/03/05/were-mostly-alike-even-when-we-seem-different/#comment-39 The differences between male and female communication are also well described by Joe Tanenbaum in his book Male and Fremale Realities. Another author (can't find the book on my shelves) also writes about males 'retreating into the cave' and also feeling on the end of elastic which pulls him back into himself. In a relationship this can be misunderstood by a woman as the man being 'cross' but in fact he is just 'regrouping' or getting back in touch with his reality. Interesting stuff The differences between male and female communication are also well described by Joe Tanenbaum in his book Male and Fremale Realities.

Another author (can’t find the book on my shelves) also writes about males ‘retreating into the cave’ and also feeling on the end of elastic which pulls him back into himself. In a relationship this can be misunderstood by a woman as the man being ‘cross’ but in fact he is just ‘regrouping’ or getting back in touch with his reality.
Interesting stuff

]]> By: Steve Green http://intimacyworks.com/blog/2008/03/05/were-mostly-alike-even-when-we-seem-different/#comment-33 Steve Green Sun, 16 Mar 2008 07:36:07 +0000 http://intimacyworks.com/blog/2008/03/05/were-mostly-alike-even-when-we-seem-different/#comment-33 HI Bob, sometimes I would like to go it alone and try to figure things out, however, since I am in a committed relationship we work things out as a team. Instead of having the problem between us,we put it out in front of us so both of us can look at it and discuss our own feelings about the problem or issue and see if we together can solve it. It eliminates the finger pointing and blaming. Ego has a lot to do with men wanting to FIX everything, as soon as we let go of the ego of fixing we and make a big difference correcting the issue or problem. HI Bob, sometimes I would like to go it alone and try to figure things out, however, since I am in a committed relationship we work things out as a team. Instead of having the problem between us,we put it out in front of us so both of us can look at it and discuss our own feelings about the problem or issue and see if we together can solve it. It eliminates the finger pointing and blaming. Ego has a lot to do with men wanting to FIX everything, as soon as we let go of the ego of fixing we and make a big difference correcting the issue or problem.

]]> By: Amy http://intimacyworks.com/blog/2008/03/05/were-mostly-alike-even-when-we-seem-different/#comment-21 Amy Wed, 12 Mar 2008 12:10:40 +0000 http://intimacyworks.com/blog/2008/03/05/were-mostly-alike-even-when-we-seem-different/#comment-21 Interesting blog - helps to get a clearer picture of Priya and Bob... keep up the good work. Interesting blog - helps to get a clearer picture of Priya and Bob… keep up the good work.

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